A Higher Power

I went to an A.A. meeting one night and listened to a guy share his story. One for the books. He talked about Higher Powers. You see, many people in our fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous choose a higher power like a tree, the wind, a bonfire, and I guess even a door knob. I mention the door knob because I’ve heard a number of people mention it so someone out there must really have chosen this object as their higher power.

His share, especially the part about his higher power, touched my heart. We have the same one. GOD. God is in the big book of A.A. over and over again. This isn’t my humble opinion. It’s a fact I know to be true. I’ve read it and now I’m studying it with my sponsor, like a text. The very last paragraph of the big book is one sentence long and mentions God. The paragraph before this one mentions God twice and makes an incredible statement. One day, I shall read this, when called on, and then close the book with a loud snap. I have a really BIG big book because it’s in really big print. My home group, which is where I got sober so to speak, is in South Lake Tahoe. A number of people that go there do not like to hear others talking about God. In fact, one guy will get up and walk out. Naturally, I have trouble with this. Only because I think I should be able to mention my higher power without someone storming out of the meeting. He can talk about his tree or whatever all he wants, I'm not going to pout or leave if he does.

When I got home that evening I was inspired to write about higher powers. When choosing a higher power you must be very careful. Shall I elaborate? Happy to, in fact, I’ll do more than that. I’ll dig in real deep with a good strong shovel and put my back into it. I think I’ll do OK for an old broad.

A tree – Trees are beautiful, I love them, hugged quite a few over the years. Chestnut trees, Maple trees, all kinds of trees back in Michigan. Too many trees to list in Yosemite, Big Sur and right here in Tahoe. Trees make me smile, sometimes even laugh. The way they can grow, look like other things, and entangle themselves with other life growing close by. The downside. They can be cut down, a storm can take them out, lightning can strike them, they can burn up, be chopped, sliced, mulched … need I go on? I love trees. As a higher power though? I don’t think so. A gift from God which I will always feel Blessed with? Oh Yes.

The wind – Ahh the wind. I love the wind. Sometimes I’ll wake up and hear the wind. My first thoughts are, probably not a good day for kayaking but it might be a great day for flying a kite. When I listen to the wind howl, see the white caps on the lake or my kite shimmy and shake, once again, I feel Blessed. As a higher power though? The wind quickly changes direction, it stops just as suddenly as it blows in. The wind, I think, is another Blessing from God. I don’t believe in weather gods, friend of mine in IL does and he’s a priest. Go figure. As a higher power? If you’re out on a lake, in a sailboat, and the wind stops blowing, then your motor doesn’t work, you’ve no paddles, can’t get one bar on your cell … let’s move on.

A bonfire – oh yeah. I love bonfires; I mean love L U V. I get lost in them. Watching the flames dance, the coals glow, listening to the sounds they make, and feeling the warmth on a cold winter night. Love them. A higher power though? I can put this one out with one word. Water. Bonfires and alcohol, oh dear, I could tell a couple of stories here. They can do some damage, and I Thank God for Neosporin or I could show you some scars. Facial ones. I still love them. Another Blessing to me, a gift from God. A simple pleasure to enjoy. Next up.

A door knob – A good invention and a handy thing to have on a door. My preference however is swinging doors. I’ve always wanted some between the kitchen and living room. They’re fun, can’t be slammed, and you can go through them carrying lots of stuff. No knob to turn. Back to the door knob. It’s just too easy. Use your imagination. But wait, ever see the SpongeBob Squarepants episode where Patrick and SpongeBob order the really big TV because they want the box they know it’s going to be shipped in? Another one for the books. A door knob, imagine that. This has to be one of the worst choices as far as higher powers go. However, that is simply my humble opinion.

Now I think is a good time to talk about my Higher Power. God. My Heavenly Father can not be manipulated by anyone or anything. He is in complete control of everything. I can give all of my heavy burdens to Him and He takes them from me. He loves me no matter what. When I sin, I pray, I confess my sins, ask to be forgiven, and I am forgiven. When I feel weak, I pray and He gives me strength. When my heart aches, I pray, I cry out to my Lord for comfort, and usually, within moments I am crying tears of joy. When I feel I just can’t go on, I’m just too tired; He picks me up and carries me. He never gives me more than I can handle.

I used a lot of I and me words in that paragraph. God is there for everyone. Anyone who reaches out to Him. All you need to do is open your heart. Let Him in. You will be so very glad you did. Honest. I would not lie to you. I am not that type of person. I’m just a plain simple girl, living in this world. It can be a scary place to some these days. This may surprise you but I am not afraid. The news does not terrify me. I quit watching it. The newspaper articles do not break my heart anymore. I rarely read them. Now you may be thinking, oh I get it; you’ve buried your head in the sand. Not at all. I just don’t buy the propaganda anymore. Be afraid be very afraid people. Look what’s happened now. But don’t worry, we got your back. Sorry to tell you though, we have to take away some more of your freedom. We’ll need to tweak this and that which was written long ago.

It’s all gravy, Baby. Our government can do whatever they want to. As long as I have God in my life … it’s all good. It really is.

Have you thought about making some changes in your life? Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired? Do you ever feel like you just can’t go on anymore? Without Hope … I did, many times over the years. I thought long and hard about killing myself a few times. Came pretty close to following through a couple of those times. Want to know what happened? I prayed, God listened and saved me from myself. This last time that happened, I promised God I would never turn my back on Him again. I got baptized through my church and gave my life to Him. I am just a humble servant now. I’ve never been so happy.

Squirrels Getting Around Town

Yesterday I was out and about, and saw a few dead squirrels on the road. One I didn’t even recognize because he was on his side just his furry white belly was visible. My friend and I both said awww and I asked what it was. She said it was a squirrel, and it was his white belly I saw. We saw a number of “roadkill” on this particular day. I mentioned the coyotes would be eating good that night, one was a big raccoon. Then again they may not. Some people think it’s fun to run over dead critters, and will even swerve over on the road to run over it again, after it’s already dead. That’s why we see the really flat dead critters.

You may already know this but for those of you who don’t, I will explain how squirrels get around. The trees are their means of transportation. Imagine a thick forest with trees galore. A squirrel can travel very long distances and cover a huge area without touching the ground. In fact, many will come down to forage for food and that’s about it. A tad different when they live among us humans and there are many roads. It is really rare when they can cross a street by way of the trees so they have to actually run across the street.

Although squirrels are intelligent, they are limited, just like us. Maybe you are the type of person that thinks you know everything; I would not be so inclined to challenge you. Others would I’m sure. Anyway this isn’t about you, or I, it’s about squirrels. Too damn many dead ones. There I said it. Used a swear word too, for emphasis. It bothers me, a great deal.

A squirrel needs to cross the street, doesn’t look both ways but I think some have learned to listen for the cars, trucks and other vehicles. I have no idea why they do this and it puzzles me to this day. I’ve never been able to figure it out. Often times they will stop right in the middle of the street and just sit there or take a look see. Maybe they forgot which way they were going. Maybe they like the feel of the warm or hot pavement. I have no idea. But there they are sitting in the middle of the road. SPLAT! Another dead squirrel. What I wonder is, could the squirrel have been avoided? Or did the driver actually go out of their way to run it over? My brother saw a car load of people actually do this back in Michigan to a raccoon. He could hear them laughing, while driving behind them. Was the person driving way too fast because they were in a hurry to get somewhere and didn’t see it in a timely manner?

Hurts to admit this, but I am guilty of this very thing. I was late for an appointment and driving too fast down a side street. A squirrel darted out in the street and I hit him. I slammed on the brakes and looked in my rear view mirror. His tail was sticking straight up, twitching, then it went down. I sat there and cried, wanting to go look at it, see if it was still alive, suffering. I didn’t, I just couldn’t. I love squirrels. I was late for my appointment; it was at the Women’s Center for counseling. When I told my counselor what had happened she made some calls and we learned a couple of things. One place said, a coyote will get him off the road eventually. And another place, if you want to go back and check on it, touch the eyelid for a response.

They’re just squirrels after all. We have lots of them where I live. There is something else to think about though. Slowing down. If you are always in a hurry, always driving fast, are you enjoying life at all? When I see people in the spring flying down 50, either coming or going off the hill. Did they see one of the many waterfalls that are flowing this time of year? If you’re hiking in the woods, jamming up or down the trail, are you feeling Blessed by the beauty all around you? Are you scaring away any critters that just might bring a smile to your face? There is nothing wrong with taking time out for ourselves. We need to replenish. We can’t serve Him well without doing this. Think about slowing down. Enjoy life and remember to Thank God for all His Blessings. Oh and one final thing, children also dart across the street! Just some food for thought.

The Body

The body also referred to as the shell, a vessel, and so on. It is what others see, when they look at us. Others who look only with their eyes, not with their hearts. This aspect of the human condition often makes me a little sad. Sad because I’m guilty of this too.

Sometimes I will look at someone and see they are dressed to the hilt, looking sharp Woman! A Lady wearing a very expensive, completely coordinated outfit. Wow, you are looking really smooth Mister! A Gentleman wearing a very expensive, completely coordinated ensemble. Right away the old stereotypes kick in. Sometimes I’ll frown and keep moving on. Sometimes I’ll smile and keep moving on. You wouldn’t believe the thoughts that go through my head at this time. The silliest, stupidest, senseless and sometimes mean thoughts. It makes me sad to think these things because I know it’s wrong and unchristian like. Here’s the flip side of this particular coin.

Sometimes I will look at someone and see they are dressed in nothing special. Male or female dressed in something that doesn’t fit snug, match, or cost much. Maybe it was even free from the goodwill, Christmas cheer, or cost next to nothing from a wonderful place like the attic. I almost always give a big smile, attach a salutation of some kind and often will mosey on over and engage in a little conversation.

I’m prejudiced you see. Hurts my heart a great deal to admit this to myself and others but there it is. A little, unknown fact, which is my secret. It used to be a secret. You have my blessing to shout this from a mountaintop. Tell anyone you know. It’s good to get rid of secrets. Air them out and share them with others. Boggles the mind. How good it feels to get rid of some garbage.

There’s another secret that appears to be spreading like a wild fire across the land. It’s not really a secret. It’s a hook at the end of a line attached to a good strong fishing pole. I say it’s just bamboo, doesn’t even have a reel. The net among their equipment is full of holes. I bet you knew that.

All I need, all I want, all I desire, is this. Our Heavenly Father, the Bible and the church I belong to which has a ROCK solid foundation and a fellowship I used to dream of. That is a Blessing to me. These Blessings I have in my life are a gift from God. There is one more Blessing I need to add. I lead a clean and sober life today. Alcoholics Anonymous, the big book, and the fellowship I have found there is also a gift from God.

Would you believe I’m just a girl? Plain and simple, my clothes don’t match nor do they fit well. Happy beyond words and wear a smile often. I sing loudly in my car, and when I’m home will sometimes dance. I have fun and most of the simple pleasures I enjoy are free.

I’ll share another secret. This one may cost a little cash. Go and fly a kite. You can buy a cheap one and it’s a blast! Pray for a little wind, it’s OK to pray for that. Maybe God likes to watch His children fly a kite. I choose to think so.

Freedom of choice, that’s another Blessing we all have. Thought about choosing to let God enter your heart? Just some food for thought, I’m praying you were hungry when you read this.