God Smiles and Frowns

I believe I will always be amazed how God works in my life these days. And I think I will always feel unworthy of His Blessings.

I pray in my car a lot. It’s a habit I’ve gotten into and has now become automatic. I pull away from my home and begin talking to God. It seems time gets away from me in my home and next thing I know, time to go and I haven’t prayed yet. I don’t even think He minds. Maybe He even likes that I pray while motoring. The other morning I was winding it down, this is where I kind of do a recap and is that weird or what. Anyway I finished with “and have a good day!” Immediately I started laughing out loud. How hilarious! Like God ever has a bad day. And then I started laughing even more thinking He must be laughing at me. I love it that I crack myself up. I hope I make God smile sometimes. What a wonderful gift that would be. To make our Heavenly Father smile or even laugh. You know, I don’t mind being crazy anymore. God has taken away my fears and worry about that. God is so Awesome!

The other night I was in turmoil, knowing I had to keep fighting and stand strong. But that evil human nature which I can’t kill, I can’t run away from, it grew. I could feel it getting stronger and I just wanted to give in, just surrender. So I did. I hate it when I disappoint God, giving in to a moment’s pleasure. Immediately followed by feelings of guilt and shame. When I go from possibly making God smile to making Him frown, and all in a 12 hour period. Cunning, baffling, powerful, do these words sound familiar? For me, this can refer to alcohol, and my evil human nature. So what can I do? I know what would have helped the other night but at the time I stubbornly shot it down. Get down on my knees and pray. Because God does care and He would have helped me stand strong and fight. If I had only asked Him in Prayer. Next time, there’s always next time.