The Alternative Plan

Back in my high school days we were offered a new class, an elective, one year which I happily signed up for. I liked the sound of this class and the school I went to was going out on a limb, branching off in a different direction. For a Catholic school in the mid to late seventies this was a little risqué to say the least. We had what was called a rotating schedule and the first class of the day was an hour and a half, we were allowed 15 minutes for exchange between classes and each class after that was 45 minutes long. The Alternative Plan was two periods long, my first and second, so on a day when the schedule was 1,2,3,4, and 5 I didn’t have to be to my third period class until 10:45. I explained all this because later on in the school year we were then offered to participate in another program within the Alternative Plan where we could choose from a list of options to sign up for. For instance some students signed on to be candy stripers at a local hospital and so on. I forget what was offered but I chose to work with a school psychologist testing kids at a grade school called Bennett.

This whole experience and this experimental class turned out to be a wonderful idea. The only time we participated in the program was when the schedule was as stated above because we needed time to get to the hospital, school or wherever. I really can’t remember how many children I would test and it varied as some children would progress and some would not. I only remember one kid’s name, Danny and I remember his because he stayed in the program all year and we kind of became friends or big sister / little brother to one another. He would tell me stuff going on in his home like his older brother getting into trouble because his parents found some marijuana on him one night and I would tell him little things about myself. Not much though because he had his own worries and I just wanted to let him know I trusted him too and we could confide in each other.

The guy in charge of the program was a real sweetheart and would touch base with all of us on a regular basis to see how we were doing, how the children were doing, keeping his files up to date and doing his job. He gave me a ride to and from the school a few times which saved me from walking and riding the buses. During the ride we would talk about various things besides the program. Once he mentioned I really appeared to have a talent for this type of work and I enjoyed working with kids so might want to think about pursuing a career in this field. While I kind of agreed the down side to all that was the fact that it meant continuing my education after graduation for another 6 years or so. At that point in time I was hoping I would graduate with all the appropriate credits I needed, so I never gave it a second thought. School was a struggle for me. I almost failed 10th grade and it was a threat from my parents to send me to public school that got me back on track. Western High School was right across the street from Clark Park and I knew if I was sent there I would shift my desires of getting high into overdrive and drop out in no time. I did want to graduate and at least have a high school diploma.

I have a lot of good memories and it was a wonderful learning experience, being a part of something so innovative. Sister Marilyn taught the class and she was tough but fair. I also had her for Intermediate Algebra for two years so we weren’t strangers. As often as I went to school stoned in high school I am amazed today, looking back at those years now, that so many nuns and teachers were tolerant of my behavior. I was clearly rude and disrespectful a number of times and they certainly could have come down on me real hard and been within their rights, I’m sure. The Blessings, small and large, that I can see now, really blow my mind today. Mr. Novak, Mr. Antoine and Mr. Shirkey were three of my favorite teachers in high school. Mr. Shirkey, the 10th grade Biology teacher was a legend at Holy Redeemer. His class was mandatory and if you didn’t get a passing grade you didn’t graduate. I did all the extra credit projects I could because the tests were hard and the final exam was killer. His class was notorious. I remember the first day of class when he called my name he groaned and said “another Theisen.” I let him know I was the last one. Anyway, sometimes I would miss school and if it was a day I was supposed to go to Bennett the kids would ask about me and worry if they were told I was sick, and vice versa. The children and I looked forward to the time we spent together and grew close. Especially Danny and I, I used to worry about him a lot.

All of these memories came back to me one day recently and that’s why I decided to write about this. The church I go to was asking for volunteers to sign up for a program called PALS. One of the church members is a teacher at a nearby school and heads up a reading program where you agree to be a mentor with a child or two. I had thought of signing up a few times but knowing how attached I get to kids and feeling I am still kind of unreliable I was afraid to commit. I finally did sign up and it turned out to be OK. I had two kids, both were in kindergarten and one was very advanced and would read to me first then I would read to him. The other was not reading on his own yet so I would read to him. Eventually the advanced kid dropped out of the program. The other kid seemed pretty bored with the whole thing but we both stuck it out. This past Sunday I saw him at church with his parents and that was a Blessing. He seemed happy to see me and I was surprised by that because at the time I didn’t feel I was making any kind of impact on him.

PALS, mentoring and alternative plans. What does any of this have to do with my life today? Probably not too much but it got me to thinking about a few things. My mind will spin off in all kinds of directions sometimes. Very often I feel the Lord steering me in a direction I really don’t want to go. Sometimes I will feel the gentle nudge of one of the Pastors at my church pushing me in that same direction. I will often dig in and just say no. This never goes well in the long run and I’m learning that. Finally giving in and signing up for PALS got me over the fear of getting close to kids again. I love kids but … My nerves are kind of shot so I avoid being around groups of them because of the loud noise. In this program I had the opportunity to have a one on one with a child and was able to get over the fear of getting too close and caring too much. Also, when my son was growing up I rarely read to him. I became a Mom at a very young age and I was already an alcoholic. My drinking really took off after I left his Dad with him in tow. Sean was about six months old when I ventured out on my own and Thank God for my family who helped tremendously with raising him up.

I’m not sure if the child I read to got anything from the program but I feel a small part of God’s plan and purpose for me was fulfilled. I was able to fill yet another small hole in my heart. An emptiness I had from not reading to my son and the regret I felt from that. After sharing my story at a meeting one evening, a brother in the fellowship of AA told me every day I live clean and sober is an amends to my son. What a Blessing it was to hear that and from a perfect stranger! I am so very grateful to the Lord Our God for the life I live today.

I wonder if the Lord has an alternative plan. If we don’t step out in faith by trusting Him and go where he wants us to go, does He have a backup plan? Of course He does. He knows exactly what He is doing at all times. If He wants to stretch us and help us grow so we can serve Him in some small way, it is for His perfect plan for us. If we choose to ignore Him and turn away He will find someone else to step up to the plate and another way of stretching us. If I’m not learning, I’m not living and I live to serve Him. He saved me from the destructive path I was on. He lifted the obsession I had for alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. This road of recovery I’m on stretches out before me and I simply need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. My walk with my Savior is never ending and it’s a journey I’m happy to be on. I am saved by the Blood of Christ Jesus and when I die, I’m going to Heaven. I don’t have a bag packed because I won’t want or need a thing when I get there. There’s a room prepared and waiting for me. I Pray you have a room waiting for you too.