Reading the Bible

I almost always have two books going at the same time. Had to add yet another rule for myself and narrow it down. Not four, not three, never more than two. Rule number something. The list is in my head. It would be way too time consuming to write them out. Perhaps a fun project someday. Maybe a little book. Pocket size, I like those, you can take them on a hike. Light reading, while resting by a river sort of stuff.

Would you be wondering what two books now? As I type this sentence, in my head, it’s with a thick Irish brogue. Just because it’s fun and makes me smile. ; - }

1.) The Bible
2.) All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten
Uncommon Thoughts On Common Things
By: Robert Fulghum

I’m on the book of Ezra in the Bible, Old Testament. Would you be wondering how this came about now? Happy to tell you. However, I’ll skip a lot of the stuff which led into it. You know, cut right to the chase scene.

Brought to my knees, saved, found a Church with a very solid foundation, (Sierra Community Church) tons of questions, wanted answers and so Padre Dan started telling me to read the Bible. Side note: Everyone else calls him Dan but my parents raised me to respect my elders and people in authority. Pastor at my church so the latter. When I say Pastor it usually comes out sounding like pasture and there you have it. Came up with a nickname he agreed to. Very nice guy, a voice like thunder, and a smile that will lift you up if you’re feeling low. In fact, a lot of people at my church have a smile that just lights up a room. It’s so cool. Long side note but I’m sure you’re not surprised.

Remember where we were? Wise man told me to read the bible. I don’t always listen very well. It’s a very bad habit and extremely rude. Sometimes it’s because I’m having a little trouble focusing but once in a great while I just choose not to. Sometimes I just want answers so give them to me. Like a little kid with no patience at all. One of many faults, and I am working on it. Would you be a wee bit lost now? I’m testing your concentration skills. How ya doin?

Meanwhile back in the jungle.

So I ask more questions and Padre says, read the bible, read the bible, read the bible. Three times in a row and I get it. It is important I do this and quit wasting time. It’s a really big book. I tend to shy away from those. I have gimpy eyes. And when I had attempted to read it long ago, bits and pieces mind you, I could not understand most of it. Padre again, with more excellent advice … do you have an NLT? Uh oh, what the heck is that? New Living Translation, easy to understand. Huge sigh of relief. I used to get scared very often and real easily. Did I say used to? Mmm let’s rephrase that. I still get scared but just sometimes and praying calms my fears.

Usually, I start a book at the beginning, another rule. However, I remember reading bits and pieces years ago so I thought I’d jump around. I just opened it up and started reading. It raised way too many questions. Who is this guy, what are they talking about, say what? And this was one of the psalms! So I went back, even before Genesis, to the information in the very beginning of the book. Good stuff. Very interesting and extremely informative. I was very glad I did. Sometimes I’ve got all four cylinders fired up and I love when that happens.

Now I’m lost. Mmm lalala oh yeah! So I’m reading my bible and WOW! What a great book! My eyes were red, white and blue for days! They’re blue see, then you have the whites of the eyes, and red because I’d been reading a lot and it strains them. The specs help but only some. So I bought a magnifying glass. What a wonderful invention. Ace is the place. They had a large bin of handy dandy stuff really cheap. Two magnifying glasses, different sizes, for a buck fifty. Believe it, tis true!

Guess what happened next? Or are you lost again? This is a test of your patience, reading skills, and who knows what else. Do you feel challenged? You can hold my hand if I scared you.

I took a break. Did ya miss me? I decided to focus and JAM. Just the 411 comin on. Now I’m a just a Crazy Lady at the keyboard! Syked you out. I’m having way too much fun.

Meanwhile back at the ranch … reading the bible … GREAT BOOK! …Genesis, Exodus. WOW again. The things I’m reading are blowing me away. Moses leads the people out of Egypt, parting of the Red Sea, the incredible things that happen and the miracles they actually see with their very own eyes. And still they sin, over and over, time and time again. Making idols to worship of some other crazy god. Incredible. Unbelievable. I am in shock. I can not put this book down even though my eyes are screaming mercy, we need some rest. Poor weary eyes. Then I get to 25:10 “Plans for the Ark.” A good time to call it a night.

The next day, when my day is done, after I say my prayers, I hunker down in bed all snug beneath my covers to read. I just can’t get my mind around all these measurements, the detailed and intensely descriptive stuff! So I mosey on over to my book shelves and start browsing. I need another book until I figure out what to do because I’m stuck in Exodus. Enter the Dragon. Just kidding. I love Bruce Lee though, one of my hero’s. I choose, “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten,” by Robert Fulghum. I love this book. It’s one I should pass on but I keep because I love it so much and never get tired of it.

What to do about getting through the rest of the book of Exodus? This information must be important or it wouldn’t be there. So, once again, I go to my spiritual counselor, Padre. Read what speaks to you. One sentence and I get it. It’s OK to skip through it. When the importance of this information comes up further into the bible, I’ll simply go back and read it, if I feel I need to.

The Blessings just keep coming. I’m in a Women’s bible study group and we’re studying Nehemiah. Then Padre does a series on the same book. You should have seen the smiles at group the next time we got together! Can you believe it? How cool is this? We’re double Blessed! And then … Padre takes a much needed vacation and Dr. Bob fills in. At first, I did the happy dance because I’ve never heard him deliver a message but he has my respect from a class he taught. But wait, oh no, he is delivering a message on Esther. NOOOO! I haven’t finished Nehemiah yet and that book is next. I looked ahead, just like a little kid, had to know what book was up next.

The message was incredible; I can’t wait to read the whole book. He ties things up by mentioning he will be doing a GUSS class on Ezra. (I was very mistaken here, the GUSS class was on Esther) Get down Dr. Bob and did the happy dance again. Why, you may ask? Happy to tell you. Because Ezra 6: 6-12 is a letter which blew me away. I mean it is Bad with a capital B. And to study the whole book would ROCK my socks off. Are you curious about the letter? Read the book of Ezra, you’ll love it. Although you may be a little lost. So you’ll want to start at the beginning. I know, it’s a big book. But so captivating. Man, God was smoating them by the thousands back then! They deserved it, you can believe that! His children were very bad then just as we are today.


Oh dear, have I become a bible thumper? I never knew what this meant and still don’t. I only know that I am learning a lot from reading the bible and enjoying every minute of it. And I’m almost positive that when I complete steps four and five (of the twelve step program of alcoholics anonymous) and get rid of a lot of useless garbage in my head I’ll be able to start memorizing some of the passages that really speak to me. To share with others.

The other day my sponsor and I are talking and she tells me I’m pretty cynical. She may be right. But then I read this in the other book I’m still reading off and on.

Pieces of sanity are found washed ashore on all kinds of beaches these days. And skepticism and realism are not the same as cynicism and pessimism. I mention it because it seems like a good bumper sticker for the eighties: “I may be wrong.”

Then again, she may be wrong.

: - }

I actually wrote this back in April of 2007. Just a fun crazy piece I tapped out one evening messing around on the computer. I decided to post it because our dear brother in Christ Dr. Bob Andrew went to be with the Lord December 27, 2009. Have you ever met someone and almost immediately got the feeling they "understood you?" I was going through a difficult time and was given his contact information from one of the Pastors at our Church. I finally got up the nerve to send him an email. I mean he was a complete stranger to me and I was pretty much a basket case at the time. Did I say was...? Anyway, he responded with a phone call, leaving a message. When we caught up with one another, and after just a few minutes of talking on the phone, we were both laughing and I did some crying and it was like we were old friends. I love when that happens. It is a rare and Beautiful thing. He was one in a million, and is dearly missed by many. I take comfort in knowing he is in a much better place. I wish I had known him better but I am grateful for knowing him at all. Another Pastor mentioned he was most likely met by Jesus when he arrived in Heaven and told, "Well done, good and faithful servant." I believe he received a standing ovation.